Fear and I are in a brotherhood
But don’t pity me
And don’t knock fear. Fear and I are in a brotherhood.
We’ve learned to live together you see
And I’m much happier knowing more about him than he knows about me.

~Diana Ziegler

The balance of power has shifted. Instead of reacting to F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real), you are now responding to life. Fear still has a seat at the table but it no longer sits at the head. Who sits in that place of prominence is your emerging character. It is demonstrated in your ability to be honest with yourself, your willingness to do things differently, and your tenacity in staying the course. Your steady progress through Steps 1-4 has provided the building blocks for this change. Now it is time to leverage your character in the practice of the final step.

If you have been diligent about Step #4 you are experiencing the benefits of creating structures and routines. You are measuring your schedule with an urgency that is facilitating sustainable change. You are resisting impulses to abandon your plan for old familiar patterns and this discipline is resulting in a growing self-trust. This trust blossoms into a deeper more abiding belief in yourself. This is the key ingredient. Your success rate will accelerate when your belief in self is greater than your doubt.

With my coaching clients we measure the effectiveness of their activities with a simple equation- are their daily efforts supporting their stated goals. Without clearly defined goals as markers, the work is susceptible to spinning- lots of activities and busyness but a fleeting sense of movement or success.

Now is the time to be bold and create those markers. You do this in Step #5 by Setting Visions and Goals.

Resurrect your former dreams or start crafting new ones. You now have the stamina and integrity to make them a reality. What is it you are called to do? What pursuit awaits you? Is there genius ready to emerge? Set your course and with your new habits and behaviors as stabilizers, you can begin to take action.

With this new course you can use your structures and routines to be sure your efforts are supporting your goals. With your capacity to stick to a commitment you have the necessary backbone to accomplish your desires. With your attention and awareness you will run a tight, responsible ship knowing when, how and what to move on.

When the going gets difficult, F.E.A.R. will begin to nose its way back in. It is OK if you experience some back steps. Take them in stride. All that is needed is to go back to your 5-step plan and determine where you are in the process. Which practice would best serve you? The truth is once you have incorporated these practices your trajectory is upward. Expect nothing else. Whether the growth is slight or dramatic is of no matter. It is your path; you will cross it at just the right pace.

You have built a relationship with fear and you now know more about it than it knows of you. It is based on real evidence. Nice work. Enjoy your greater expression of self, share it with others and keep growing. Boldness is recommended!

You have taken big and important steps in your quest to be free from the grip of  F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real). A solid foundation is being built beneath you and you are more than likely noticing small differences in your life experiences. This is the beginning of change. You are growing in capability and confidence. Not every moment of every day, surely not. Nevertheless, the fresh breeze of change and newness is all about you and it fans the motivation needed to move forward. It is working- F.E.A.R.’s impact is lessening.

Recall how you got here? In Step #1 you began by exposing the insidiousness of F.E.A.R.’s influence by simply stopping and paying Attention. You looked with a curious eye at what was propelling you forward and with that looking came a new Awareness. These practices illuminated how thoroughly FEAR controlled your life. This awakening was the first sign of self-liberation.

In Step #2 you took action by Doing Something Different. The “doing” was targeted on the smaller choices and decisions of your day. These choices were your slingshot and pebble as you did battle with your Goliath of F.E.A.R. The goal here was not to take F.E.A.R. head-on but instead to baby step your way to new discoveries, confidence and victories. Your momentum was increasing.

You crossed a critical threshold in Step #3 when you humbly made a Commitment fortified by Faith. You put a stake in the ground that proclaimed to yourself and the forces of the universe that you were serious about taking ownership of your life and would spare no effort. Your ability to make this declaration was supported by your emerging belief in something greater than the limiting nature of F.E.A.R.

Having established your beachhead in Steps 1-3, it is now important to stabilize and prepare for more growth. We do this in Step #4 by instituting Structures and Routines. This is the blue-collar work of change. It cannot be avoided and is crucial in maintaining the self-discipline to remain one-step ahead of F.E.A.R.’s influence.

The Structures and Routines are simple- you make a plan and stick to it. A failure to plan fosters an environment in which F.E.A.R. thrives. Drafting well thought out plans and abiding by them fosters trust, integrity and balance, all natural opponents of F.E.A.R. It keeps you in charge of your life and not buffeted about by the winds of the day.

Your practice for Step #4 is two parts. Part one is to each night create a time schedule  for the following day. This is not to be rushed. It is to be thought out, measured and deliberate. It will identify what you are going to do and when will you do it. The schedule should be executable without stress but it also should have a healthy “stretch” built into it, meaning there are situations in which you are venturing outside your comfort zone.

Part two is simple: Stick to It! A plan is only effective if you stick to it. If you find yourself pondering whether to disregard your plan, consider it a red flag. Your plan was designed with thoughtfulness and calm- most likely your most guided self.  Breaking a plan weakens future plans. You have given the voice of F.E.A.R. a tool to exploit. Before you know it your goals and visions are lost in a sea of good intentions.

There may be a few thinking, “this is totally unrealistic. I have a job and/or a family and I need to respond to those needs.”  Granted for some making their plan is more challenging. At the same time I urge you, with your circumstances factored in, to write your plan deliberately. Where can you bring more Structure and Routine into your day? Where can you say no or not now to an urgent request?  Find the places where your voices are saying, “we can’t do that” and challenge that assertion. Remember F.E.A.R. will often sound reasonable and justified.

It is essential that you exercise self-honesty and courage at this point. Check your reasoning and assumptions. Make sure they are sound and not just convenient.  I urge you to stay the course and not back down. I promise you, you won’t be disappointed.