As a kid I was confronted with a nightly dilemma at dinner. My plate of food inevitably consisted of protein, carbs and vegetables. I hated vegetables. My only recourse (I thought) was to go worst last. I would dive into the meat and potato hoping against hope that somehow those veggies would disappear or my parents would have a change of heart. With each bite of roast beef however my discomfort grew. The looming specter of graying, boiled vegetables slowly crowded out my pleasure.The task before me seemed insurmountable.Countless meals ground to a halt this way. If I had only known about worst first.

What is worst first mentality? It’s taking your to-do list and instead of going for the easy, low hanging fruit first (the meat and potatoes) you identify the most disagreeable task (the green beans)and take it on, giving it your full measure.

The benefits of living a worst first strategy?

• Start with a victory! Tackling your biggest foe first has a two-fold effect. One you are rewarded with an invigorating flow of positive energy due to your esteem-enhancing actions. Two you are lighter for eliminating the heavy weight from your list. All that energy that gets eaten up by the “looming specter” is now applied elsewhere.
• Develop a self-image of being an obstacle buster. How you feel about yourself can easily be the difference between smooth and hard, success and same old, same old. When you see yourself as a task-slaying warrior you are building a new relationship with yourself. It feels good, really good. You will want more of this feeling. This is critical for making change. It’s from the inside!

The potential pitfalls of doing a worst last mentality?

• Feeding the monster. Rather than freeing your mind of the “looming specter” you instead are being weighed down and “occupied” by the disagreeable task. The monster is mostly a figment of your imagination. To avoid it gives it power.

  Reinforcing a limited story of yourself. As you put off the worst task it becomes progressively harder to tackle. This can lead to procrastination. What’s next is the messy bog of self-condemnation followed by more evasion via TV, food, etc. Now a molehill has turned into the mountain of your past.

How do you begin a worst first mindset? For the next two weeks make it a practice to first identify the one task that makes you a bit squeamish. Give it a time limit if it is something that needs to be broken into multiple days. This will give you a start time and an end time. Summon up your courage and get started on it. Gauge your results and send me an email to report back.

Remember you are cultivating a new mentality along with a new way of being. This is not a one and done venture.Keep practicing. Know you are building a solid foundation for making big change. Oh and one other thing- you’ll find the vegetables were pretty good afterall.

In the movie Annie Hall, Woody Allen’s character compares a relationship to a shark- “It has to constantly move forward or it dies”. The idea is the same with this tip.

Camping out inside your comfort zone is luxuriously seductive and dangerously deceptive. The allure of avoidance which provides short-term relief, imperceptively becomes your gathering executioner.

Your comfort zone is not meant to be a way of life. It is a place to rest, rejuvenate and replenish. That’s all. From there you are called to move back out seeking your next stretch action- taking small risks, meeting new people, testing new concepts and skills, saying yes when you want to say no. Leaning into life not laying down on it.

Can it be scary? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Do you have a choice? For a while yes but sooner or later the chickens come home to roost.

Paradoxically when you make taking stretch actions your new normal, your zone of comfort expands. Your capacity to handle whatever life serves up is fortified.

How do you do it? Start from right where you are- today. Make it your new guiding mantra- where can I stretch today? Identify two or three instances where you eschew your lair of comfort and march the road of more resistance.

Start small and collect victories. Watch as your new identity as an obstacle buster exhilarates you and propels you to greater triumphs. Celebrate your integrated relationship with life knowing you are a shark on the move.

At the end of the day, after all the analyzing, doubting, planning, wondering, all the thinking and feeling, the only thing that really matters is what you do!

It is your actions that have determined what you are today, where you are going, and who you will become.

If it is that simple why is it so hard?

One significant reason is fear. Fear infiltrates your mind and diabolically generates thoughts to frighten, mislead and confound.

Your solution? You avoid taking action or you take safe actions with minimal yield that keep you in the trance of “I’m doing things”.

A true solution? Action. Not just any action. Targeted Action.

What is Targeted Action? It is action that demonstrates your willingness to change. It will be something you do that is different and it often inches you outside your comfort zone. It is behavior that moves you in the direction of a goal, vision or purpose. It will be new. It will be bold as it flies in the face of fear.

There is an important distinction however. Targeted Action is not THE perfect action. Perfection is the problem. It is fear hijacking the process. Keep it simple, run your action plan by a trusted other for verification and support, then act and learn.

When you truly understand that even awkward, uncertain actions, no matter how small, are better than thinking those same thoughts, being scared by those same feelings or doing that same busy work, than you are on the way. Change has become a reality.

In December I will share 12 tips for making change distilled over the past year in my coaching classes. They are a combination of tools and practices that allow you the opportunity to live your way into a new life.

For many these will be familiar directives for personal and professional development. The words may differ but the concepts will be similar. So why take the time for me to write and the reader to read? Simple – for the reminder.

• We need to be reminded that we are magnificent “forgetters”. The light fades quickly. A steady drip is good medicine.
• We need to be reminded that many of us have minds that tack toward the negative and without guiding beacons can be swamped by fear, doubt, and grasping.
• We need to be reminded that we often look past the answers laid at our feet sure that the solution resides elsewhere.
• We need to be reminded that we resist the uncomfortable and are easily seduced by new, fast and easy.
• We need to be reminded that change is indeed a process and not an event.
• We need to be reminded that this process is not to be missed as it is the gateway to a greater you.
• We need to be reminded that hope and change start this second in your next decision.

While I’m in a reminding spirit here’s one more – keep your eye on what’s important over the final month of 2011. Combine joy and connection with mindfulness and prudence. It will help set a strong foundation for 2012. Enjoy the Twelve Tips for Change of Christmas.

Navigating the job search landscape is not for the faint of heart. Anyone who has been “out there” can tell you that it requires a formidable perseverance and a resilient spirit to keep the search going. It’s not only the reality of a small amount of jobs being pursued by a large amount of people. It’s also because of all the choices. That’s right, the choices which job seekers have to make everyday in determining how to allocate their most precious commodity- their time.

Lets scan the landscape briefly.  Job boards and job sites. Resumes, cover letters, approach letters and “one pagers”. Linked In profiles, Twitter tweets, free coaching webinars and Meet Up groups. Developing one’s brand, value propositions and the elevator pitch. Joining networking groups, success teams and throw in some volunteering while you’re at it. Amazingly enough it is possible to be an unemployed person who is overworked. Who needs a job to have burnout?

This is not a knock on any of the amazing tools available today. They all represent fresh, exciting, leading edge changes that allow one to reach out with more clout and effectiveness than ever before. What I’m concerned about is the weary job seeker who is required to perform  a serious bit of discernment about which and how much of these various tools and strategies are right for them. This is not an easy task when you consider all the noise coming at you from your fellow seekers touting this online tool or that Linked In group or that new cutting edge resume formatting style. Linked In alone could fill the hours of a part time job what with  asking and answering questions, reading and sending emails from the various groups you are in, delivering sharp new updates on your happenings, writing recommendations, and making new connections. Phew! It’s more than one weary job-seeker with beleaguered eyes that pleaded ,”Do I really need to be on Plaxo?”

So how do you ride this cultural revolution rather than get buried by it?

It comes down to a principle that can often be overlooked in our personal toolkit but nonetheless is essential for success in all areas of a person’s life. Trust. That’s right, learning to trust oneself. Trusting when you have done enough. Trusting that you have “stretched” yourself and taken the actions that are personally challenging. Trusting that you are  being honest with yourself and your support team. Trusting that you are being true to your defined direction and it’s OK to say no. Trusting that it’s OK to take an afternoon off to rest. Trusting that you will assess your efforts and know when you need to kick it up notch. Trusting that some things are not right for you- yet! Trusting that there are bigger forces in play and you don’t need to be everywhere all the time.  Trusting that when you are grounded and confident you are in the best place to do your best work.

Being a basketball fan, I often marveled at the exploits of Michael Jordan. I noticed in interviews after another virtuoso performance, he would regularly say he “let the game come to him”. What I took that to mean was despite being a world class athlete, it was his patience and yes, his trust that were key to utilizing his immense abilities. He trusted he would know when to act, when the time was right. If it’s good enough for MJ it’s good enough for me.

I say the same to you. Do your research, make your connections on linked in, meet the people who are right to meet and then, trust you’ve done enough. It’s time to let the game come to you.